28
Jul 09

I don’t know why I did it, was I right in doing it?

A few days back days back Macabreday’s band, Rusty Moe was playing in the city and I was supposed to reach by 8. I was already half an hour late and auto guys were refusing to take me to Kyra despite me offering them double the usual rate at 8:30pm. Unbelievable no?

That being the case, I decided to walk rather than waste time on autorickshawbots. As I walked, I saw an auto guy buying some vegetables from an old vegetable vendor. He was selling vegetables from a push cart which was as old as him. HIs clothes were faded and wrinkled much like his face. A towel tied around his head like a turban hid his baldness and next to his stood the auto guy, wearing a smart neatly pressed shirt and well combed hair. He saw me, saw my quizzical look and popped the big question. “Saar, auto saar?” They think people fall for the repetitive ‘saar’ call, what he doesn’t realise is that people are desperate for an auto that will take them to their destination that the saar call doesn’t make a difference at all.

Pic credit: Wikipedia

Pic credit: Wikipedia

I replied with a nod and asked him if he would take me to Indiranagar flyover. Remember it’s only minimum charge from my house, but he wanted Rs25 and I was desperate. I agreed.

He told me to sit in the auto till he finished buying vegetables. As I got in, I heard him arguing with the old vendor. Turns out, the old man gave him a bill of Rs22, but he was ready to pay only 20. What a hypocrite; I thought and I would have left it at that if not for what followed.

The old man took off his towel, he said he was begging and asked him to please give him two rupees more. He was on his knees now and the auto guy still wouldn’t budge. After five minutes of pleading, he reluctantly gave away two rupees and cribbed about it as he started the auto.

Now I wanted to teach this guy a lesson, I am not the vengeful kind, but what he did back there really broke my heart. So as soon as we reached our destination, I gave him exactly two rupees short — Rs23. He looked confused then I told him that I did not have change and that, that’s all I had. I could not find the desperation of the old man in his eyes, all I could see was arrogance. He rolled up his sleeves and started telling me about our verbal agreement that I would pay him Rs25. I stuck to my line — that’s all I have.

He was starting to crack now, he still wasn’t desperate, but frustrated. He looked like the kind who would have given me a thrashing if it was an isolated place. But I was in Indiranagar, there were vehicles flying past, people staring at the commotion and he just didn’t know what to do.

Then I did what I had to do, “You want two rupee more right?” I said. “Yes”, he replied. “Then listen carefully, start respecting people, because you be mean to someone it comes back to you some point of life or the other, here’s your two rupee (drops it to the ground and it rolls under the auto). Take it if you want, but shame on you for behaving like that with such an old man who is just trying to make a living. How long will you go about cheating people like this, what do earn by doing all this? Do you think you will have a happy life? No, it will be miserable because people will curse you and curse you, and will do so, till you change you ways.”

I said this and just walked off from the spot, last I looked at him, he was staring in my direction in disbelief. I did not look again, I don’t know if he picked up that coin form the floor, I don’t know if he changed his ways, but I hope he did. The worst part, I am happy I told him whatever I did, but I am not sure if it was right thing to do.

27
Jul 09

Please get these people on Sach Ka Samna

I watched one or two episodes of Sach Ka Samna and I found it to be as good as the original (Moment of Truth) in terms of production and equally controversial with the questions. They have only invited celebrities till now in the show, but I have a few recommendations. Here goes:

Politician

(Nothing like a populist and corrupt politician to bring up the TRPs)

Q: Sirjee do you have black money or not

A: Bilkul nahi (Absolutely not)

Machine: Ye jawab galat hai (wrong answer)

Bangalore Auto Driver

(Been a while since I cribbed about auto guys. But there was this recent incident which I have to blog about. Will post it tomorrow)

Q: Do you take double of metre charge even in broad day light

A: Eh ya (Some of them are shameless you see)

Machine: Ye jawab sahi hai (answer’s right)

Host: Congratulations for winning 1,00,000 but shame on you for charging double rate.

@Ev

(Founder of Twitter)

Q: Do you think you will ever make money from Twitter

A: Can I tweet about this?

Host: No!

A: Okay then yes

Machine: Ye jawab galat hai (wrong answer)

10
Jan 08

BAJAJ — Rickshaw to TATA Nano

Why should one buy Tata Nano?

Well for one its as cheap as an auto (almost)

An autorickshaw costs Rs 90,000+taxes while a basic model of Nano costs Rs 1 Lakh+taxes

1> It can accommodate 4 people

2> It looks better than an auto.. and goos enough for a car!

3> Its a car.. means u can ride in the rain! ( You wont get drenched like in an auto)

4> Great mileage – 23kmph! (wow!)

5> Eco-friendly (meets bharat 3 and will meet euro-4 standards)

5> Last but not the least — killer price for a car!

Is it just a modified version of an auto?

Here are a few reasons why I believe so!

1> Its has only one viper in the front

2> Base size (platform) is slightly bigger than an auto thats all

3> Wheels look as small as an auto (am not sure if it is :-p )

For Bangaloreans

I have a killer reason why Bangaloreans should buy Auto.. Autowallahs are going on strike on Jan 11! They want the rates to be hiked to Rs 10/metre!

Kewl Idea

Hey taxi guys .. how about running Nano as a Taxi at rates cheaper than taxi slighly more than autos? What say? May be that will cut the autos to size

For those interested here are the specifications of the car

PS: By the way Ram got inspired by GTA series of posts and decided to write smthing about autokkarans in Chennai.. take a look!

GTA – Temple city

06
Jan 08

Grand Theft Auto – 4!

This is the final post of Grand Theft Autorickshaw series.. to make any sens read GTA , GTA2, GTA3 and then read this post

I speak english!
NOTE: This my dear friends is the rarest bread of auto drivers. You may not find them in any other city in India, but in Bangalore.. What’s special about them? As the headline says.. They speaks english!

Me: Anna.. Jayanaga Jaoge?
Auto: Hindi gothilla.. You know english
Me: eh.. yya.. ya I speak english
Auto: So where do you want to go
Me: Jayanagar
Auto: ok
Me: (I couldn’t hold back my curiosity)
Auto: From where did you learn to speak english so well?
Me: Oh! from my daughter.. There are a lot of non-kannadigas here. So I asked her to teach me hindi so I could talk to these people. But she told me that she will teach me english as there are a lot of tourists here. So I agreed and I learnt
Me: So how long did it take
Auto: 1 year
Me: wow.. thats great.. you did a really good thing…
(the talk continued for half an hour thanks to traffic.. we discussed traffic, garbage issue, auto metre tampering and traffic again)
(on reaching)
Me: Anna, here is the money
Auto: Thank you (gives back change)
Me: No, Thank you!

Double trouble
NOTE: Ever travelled in a group of five or more in an auto? Chances are quite less for something like that to happen. Unless of course you are in school and auto picks you up from school and takes you home and vice-versa.. well I had ‘encounters’ with auto guys because we travelled in a big group!)
Me: Anna Jayanagar
Auto: okay
Me: There are five people
the smile =) on his face changes shape now =(

Auto: Do (two) auto lena padega
Me: Ek auto mein possible nahi hain? we will give little extra
Auto: No you will have to take two autos!
(out of the blue another auto driver appear who offers to take the second group.. now we don’t have any options you see)
Auto1 (to auto 2): Bhaiyya appa pehle chalo.. I will follow you
Auto 2(to auto 1): nahi nahi aap pahle
Me: (in mind.. am I in Bangalore or Lucknow?)
Auto 1: nahi nahi aap
Auto 2: ok chalo follow.. u have digital metre u put.. i wont
Auto1: ok
Auto1 & 2 together: Boss is that okay.. he has digital so he puts…
Me: okay chalo abhi
(and so the journey starts the auto I was in didn’t have the metre running because ‘he did not have digital meter’ :p)
(fast forward – we reach destination)
(the metre in second auto – digital meter – read 90, when it should have read 60!)
phew!
Me: Boss aapka meter galat hein
Auto1: Wo khoome aana padta hein.. isliye..
Me: (in mind – WTF!)
I have come b same route before also how can you say ‘khoom ke’ now.. don’t crap with me unnecessarily!
Auto 2: Are you trying to say my metre is rigged? digital metre hein bhayya it cannot be
Me: oh come on whom are you kidding.. there is no meter that cannot be rigged.. only if you mess up digital metre the seal will be broken that s all.. move let me check the metre

Auto1 pushes me away

Friend1: Boss.. no need to push around we know your metre is tampered three of us here work in media.. we know many policemen .. we will give you 60 (*2 of course) if you need more you call police. There are five of us here, so don’t mess up.
Auto1: (reality sinks in) okay give.. but remember I know were you live I will come with my friends..

Me: ya ya okay
we will see

(The never turned up.. thank god.. though we put up a bracve face then we were a littel bit scared of the consequences….)

Anything for money

(this one…. came in as a comment from Taju!)

1. I (Taju aka Xylene) called an auto to take ma wife and myself to the Railway station. I bargained and fixed the rate to 125 ( for 15 kms)
Upon seeing ma extra large suitcase he began ” luggage one and a half, extra, more, more, more”

I said “bhaiiyya this auto is for how many ppl?” he said “three”
“So we have me, her and yeh luggage ek admi sumcho (consider this luggage as a person), so no extra… ”
he agreed !
2. On our way back all the autodrivers were bargaining for 150rs (from madiwala to hsr layout 4 kms). I tried ma “consider this luggage as the third person” but dint work !! :(
So i had to increase my offer to 60 Rs, still no one was agreeing.
Autowalla1 : “sir ur office will begin now”
me ” No its only at 1PM”
Autowalla2 : “Sir the rate is for luggage 70Rs”
Me ” NOOO”
Autowalla picking up my suitcase ” see I am carrying your luggage sirrr”
me ” Oh okay then”
me to wife ” atleast he helped me witht he luggage, so lets give him 70?
upon reachingthe destination. he dint bother to get out of the driver seat. and I pulled..pushed….tried to lift it out of the auto..finally managed to get it out ( his seat got torn, he dint notice, well so be it…)
wife to me ” so wats the extra 10 for??”
me “sigh to get him out of ma sight”

24
Dec 07

Grand Theft Auto – 3

To understand this post properly first read this and then this

‘Auto meri jaan’

I love these kind of auto drivers.. for them their auto is their life, not just because it’s their source of income.. But they simply just

love their autos. They take care of it like they do their children.. Here is one such incident.. but mind you, in this case I was ‘little

irritated’ why? read on…

NOTE: Background of the story is as follows… A friend of mine had come to town so we decide to rent out a house.. which we finally

did… And now all I needed to do was move all my stuff from my paying guest accommodation to my new house.. I pack everything

and call the auto ..

Me: Anna, Jayanagar Jaoge?
Auto: ok
Me: One minute.. need to get some stuff
Auto: Blank expression (I read it then as.. hurry up.. thinking back.. I think he meant.. are u kiddin me?)

(I come down with my ‘luggage’ which basically comprises of a HUGE backpack and a suitcase along with my computer boxes -

monitor, CPU, speakers, UPS etc.. – all of them dusty mind you)

Now I start loading them one by one

Auto: Nahi nahi don’t keep that bag on the seat
Me: Ok.. I start keeping it behind the seat
Auto: Nahi nahi don’t keep there then where will you keep those dirty boxes
Me: I don’t know! You tell me
Auto: Keep the boxes on the floor
Me: Boss.. Are you joking? Its a computer monitor.. It won’t fit..
Auto: Whatever fits on the floor fits in the auto.. If anything’s left keep it on your lap!

Me: Eh.. ok! (It’s not like I had choice you see)
(I HAD TO do it the way he wanted for the sake of shifting…. and I did.. we reached home.. now getting myself and the stuff from

the auto)

Me: Anna.. can you help me to get the stuff out.. because without that I can’t get out
Auto: Give me look that simply said (yeuw.. me help you with that? No chance!)
Me: But I can’t get out..
Auto: call your friend
Me: He is in office!
Auto: Call your neighbour then!
Me: WHAT! For god’s sake pleeeeeeease!
Auto: ah ok then (he takes the comp monitor from my lap and almost throws it on the floor)
Me: Thanks… here is the money..
Auto: (Snatches the money out of my hand and rushes away as soon as I took my stuff out of the auto)

The ‘otherway’ driver

I hate encounters with such a brand of auto drivers….
NOTE: This incident happened at 3 in the evening not late at night!

Me: Auto….. (whizzes past)
Me: Auto… (another one passes by)
Me: AUTO!!!!
(finally one stops)
Me: Jayanagar
Auto: Gives that ‘meditating’ look
nahi going to MG road
Me: (in mind – eh I thought it was an auto didn’t realise you run in particular routes alone)

Watch out for the grand finale (hopefully) of the GTA series ….. to be continued

20
Dec 07

Grand Theft Auto – 2

For this post to make any sense pls read this post first…

GOD ON EARTH
NOTE: These type of auto drivers make an appearance when you are short of cash.. not necessarily when broke.. and never turn up again…

Me: Boss, Jayanagar jaoge
Auto: ok sit
Me: (skeptical.. looking at the meter)
Auto: TING! (digital meter.. wow.. and he’s turned it on)
(Reached destination.. twenty min pass.. we lost ten min at traffic junctions)
Me: (shit I have only Rs 30 change and Rs 100 note… and meter reads 35.. oh god… now I will have to argue)
Anna, here (I offer Rs 100 note)
Auto: Change ilva?
Me: Only 30
Auto: ok give
Me: (I give 30.. he gives back Rs 100)
sorry anna
Auto: (Nods understandingly, smiles and leaves before I can invite him for a tea/coffee for being a nice chap…)

Conclusion: Good things come in small packages proportions

The chatter box
NOTE: These guys appear too friendly and gets to your nerves.. and also that the below conversation took place in hindi

Me: Boss, Jayanagar jaoge
Auto: yes yes why not… sit sit
Me: okay (bckgrnd: ting. meters on.. good)
Auto: So where are you from?
Me: Kerala
Auto: Oh I have been there beautiful place my cousin drives auto in kochi
Me: Oh (all auto drivers in kochi come under the category of Jack the rippers)
Auto: The traffic, its so irritating these days it takes ten minutes to travel 100 meters (we were at MG road u see.. he goes on…) do you know what happened to me yesterday?
Me: (a moments silence… ah that felt good) what? (why did I utter a word.. stupid me!)
Auto: I was driving through outer ring road……… (the conversation or should I say the monologue went on for the next forty min till I reached home)
Me: Anna, here is the money
Anna: Change ilva? (Don’t have change?)
Me: Illa (don’t have)
Anna: okay.. (he gave me back change with three rupee short.. if I ask him about the three rupee he would go on for another ten min about shortage of coins so I took the offering and cleared the spot)

Conclusion: And I though being exposed to radiation was the worst thing possible

The Pervert
NOTE: I never encountered these beasts.. a few of my girl friends encountered them though

She: Anna, MG Road
Auto: (Gives that creepy look which makes one melt) YES!
She: (gets in… quite conscious)
Auto: TING! (Meter on…. great! Now the rear view mirror changes it’s purpose. It becomes passenger view mirror)
(She looks into the mirror only to meet those sharp eyes trying to see through her.. she finds protection behind her backpack which now she keeps on her lap)
(Twenty min pass and the destination approaches) Even after wearing a Kurta.. she thinks

She: Here is the money
Auto: Thanks he collects the money in a giffy making it a point to touch her palms..
She: Leaves the change money and moves away from the auto

Conclusion: Sometimes being a woman is a curse!

Continued here...
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