26
Mar 08

Those irritating calls!

Everyone hates those pesky calls which try to sell you products (I was being generous.. they try to force products down our throats). There are many ways to deal with them. Either you can go the way Xylene suggests or do it my way

(to be honest I got it as a forward.. damn my conscience!)

 

pic: wpclipart.com

1 After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you. – Oh thanks for calling.. I was feeling so lonely in life after my GF met me.. sob sob.. I need somebody in life.. I have everything in life money, car a job… Will you marry me? (In case she says yes, its your turn to hang-up!)

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. — Eh what I didn’t understand.. can you explain it again..

4. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. — Oh thats a great plan really.. smack.. slick.. Wow the paratha is owesome.. can I have some more butter pls…. and lassi too.. (I prefer northy stuff for dinner)

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.– ga ga ga ga goo goo ga ga

6. Tell them your hearing is weak and that they need to speak up…. louder… louder… louder! — Hello HELLo… Can you be louder pls.. hello…

7. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…. ……… ”

8. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down. So.. t-h-e plaaan ccooveers.. aaaall paternal.. eh how do I spell paternal?

9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the ICICI call centre guy to call on your office number (ehm.. low battery.. I like ur plan.. if only you could call me in..) – and give him the HSBC call centre number. (CHUP-chap favourite!! :-D )

 

22
Mar 08

New kid on the block

Did I mention I became an uncle? Hmm…. No I didn’t. The reason.. I did not have the photos of the baby to upload.. The kid was born when I was in Calicut, but I couldn’t meet him (yes its a him) because of a hartal declared by political parties! =(

Today finally I got a few pics by mail and here they are…

image0112.jpg picture-009.jpgpicture-008.jpgpicture-013.jpg

He has not been named yet.. and the naming ceremony is within a two weeks.. any suggestions? The name should start with A, M or S

cross posted at family blog

20
Mar 08

Groan… TAGS!

I am not a big fan of tags and memes, I have been trying to stay away from tag chains, only to be tagged by two — Xylene and Amit!

Xylene wants me to list a few movie quirks of mine while Amit’s tag requires me to list out personality quirks! :-P

I will start with Amit’s one

The Rules first :

- Link to the person that tagged you.Post the rules on your blog.

- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

1> I prefer to bathe in cold water than in hot water

2> I spend a minimum of 26 hours a week playing games!

3> At home I eat dosa with butter only (that too heaps of it…. stay away sambar, chutney)

4> I prefer to wear two t-shirts even on a very hot day! (absolutely no logic.. i knw)

5> The whole world is out to get me! They never spell my name correctly.. To know my FULL name, visit my orkut profile.

6> I hate wearing shoes!!!!

Movie quirks

1> I used to watch maximum one movie in two months when in Kerala now I watch one every two days!

2> I used to be member of almost all Indi-torrent sites while in college (ex-torrent guru)

3> I hate those dingy, stinking, movie halls in Kerala (pampered by multiplexes u see)

4> Ehmm may be I hate theaters in Kerala but I try to see as many movies as I can when at home because of low ticket prices (cheap popcorn to add to the fun)

5> I can watch any kinda movie no discrimination!….

6> Don’t beat me up for saying this.. I liked RGV ki Aag when I saw it first! (what was I thinking)

7> I worship Mohanlal (ehm reason why I liked Aag.. come to think of it.. he was pathetic in the movie!)

20
Mar 08

3 people – Different thoughts

Yesterday was long day; in the sense I was up quite early and went to bed quite late. But yesterday was also the day that got me thinking on three different topics, all due to three different kind of people I met.

~~

The first was a woman who was begging near Minerva circle. I have this funda of not offering money to those who beg with a child in their hand. They poke, nudge and do anything that they can, to freak out people sitting in their vehicles to get a rupee or two, with which they supposedly feed the baby. I no longer believe thats the case after reading a story in Bangalore mirror on babies being available for rent in the city for begging! So whenever someone approaches me for money with a baby in their hand, I give them a few biscuit if I happen to have a pack with me.
And I did this time too, only my hand was rudely pushed away!! She didn’t want food for her baby or herself apparently! She just wanted money! Now why does she need money? To pay for the ‘protection’ some local goon is offering her? Does she need this money to patch the roof of the hut she stays in?

~~

I couldn’t shake out the thought of this woman almost the entire day, it remained somewhere in the back of my head, until I reached PvR. I was reminded of an incident that happened to me last week.
I had planned to go for a malayalam movie – Kadha parayumbol – for a long time and it was only that day that I got company. N decided to come along on the promise that I will translate the movie to her (not a mallu u see)!! As I was the first one to reach, I decided to buy tickets for the movie, I decided to buy the tickets from Cinema Europa where the movie was playing.

Me: Got seats for kadha parayumbol?
Man at counter: Yes sir, how many seats do you want
Me: Oh cool, I need two seats pls
Counter: Here is the ticket
Me: I offered him Rs 500 note..
Counter: Here is the change sir.. he gives me back Rs 180. Now, I don’t always count money I get or check if I got the exact change. But this time something though I did and when I did, I realised that the ticket prices were just Rs 300 and he has charged me Rs 320. So I stood there confused trying to understand where the balance 20 went. The guy at the counter saw my expression and immediately shot me a question… “How much did I give you sir?”
Me: You gave me 80!
Counter: Really sorry sir, pls give me 80 I will give back 100
(I did and he did)

Now I was totally confused, if the ticket prices were only 300 why did he charge me 320? Was he trying to make a small profit and did he just play the ’sorry-sir’ role because he felt I was going to protest? Would he have given me 20 bucks back if I hadn’t stood there with a puzzled expression?

This incident happened last week so was easier to put aside for me then… after finishing my work at Forum (which included buying a few moser-baer movie cds) I was off to M G Road and like always I took my favourite ride in the city! Auto rickshaw.

~~

Autos all over south India have a negative aura around them you know. In Kochi auto drivers will demand all the money in you wallet. In Chennai traveling by taxi is cheaper that auto. In Bangalore your experience with auto guys will depends on your bargaining skills and your ability to maaro senti (will blog later abt this)

So today I wanted to go from Forum to Brigade road and surprisingly no one was out bargaining like they would usually. There was a sign of desperation on their faces and I couldn’t figure why, until the driver of the auto I was traveling in got talking.
Apparently there is a shortage of CNG gas in the city (It is compulsory in Bangalore for autos to use CNG, they cannot run on petrol)
Auto: No gas bhaiyya, hum log auto kaise chalayange? I have two three litres left, what after that…..??
Me: Then why are you wasting that too? Why don’t you wait till all other autos run out of gas and run your auto demanding higher rates? (trying to be sarcastic)
Auto: (laughs) Good idea, but if I don’t run auto today, and make some money, who will give me money for a things I need to buy for my family?

I didn’t have an answer to that question. For the first or may be second time in my life, I felt pity for an auto guy in Bangalore. He was a nice chap, he did not speak another word, he just drove well and dropped me at Residency Road – Brigade Road junction. I gave him ten rupee extra on the meter. He did not utter a word still, nor did his expression change. He pocketed the money and waited there for the next customer. In spite of making a few extra rupees, he did not look happy, he still wore a confused expression which made me feel like he was simply playing a prank on me. He did make the extra ten bucks which I would have otherwise not given and that too without any bargaining at all!

So was that senti just a way of making extra money without having to ask for it? Did he actually deserve extra money because he was going through a rough stage?

10
Mar 08

Have you sinned today?

Have you sinned today?

Chances are you have, atleast according to the new set of ’sins‘ Vatican has come out with. So what are the new sins?

Ehm here goes:

  • Pollution
  • Gene tampering (stem-cell research)
  • Drug-pedalling

Its nice to see that pollution and drug-pedalling are now considered to be sins. But stem-cell research? I don’t agree. I will write more on this later but now let me go confess for I have sinned! I used an automobile today.. eeks.. I polluted! Oh god have mercy (ehm on earth and on ice at it’s poles)

Meanwhile remember the ‘old’ 7-deadly sins? Know the punishments for them? I saw this at timesonline

Pride — Broken on the wheel
Envy — Put in freezing water
Gluttony — Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes
Lust — Smothered in fire and brimstone
Anger — Dismembered alive
Greed — Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
Sloth — Thrown in snake pits

Interesting heh!

And if you are a ’sinner’ you might be interested to know what hell is like (look and feel). Silverine thinks it might be like this:-P

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